OK, Not a Closet Then
by fififolle
Summary: Their colleagues think they would be good together. A plan is required. McKay Weir. Tag for Sateda. Humor Romance.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers: Duet, Sateda**

**A/N: **Written for the **McKay/Weir Ficathon 2006**, response to a challenge (#7) from** Alice Ahn - **Weir and McKay locked in a closet by Zelenka, Sheppard, and Teyla. Full details and links at mcweir central website. Beta by **Keenir**. In the last minute scramble for more plot bunnies, Keenir also answered this challenge. No one minds, do they. :D

**Summary:** Their colleagues think they would be good together. A plan is required. McKay Weir. Tag for Sateda. Humor Romance.

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**Chapter One**

"Radek. Could you, uh...?"

"Rodney?"

"Well, it would save me getting up, if you passed me that datapad from the bench."

Radek smirked. He crossed to the bench near McKay. McKay, he could see, was lying on his stomach on the floor, in front of a laptop. He leaned down and handed the device to the Chief Scientist.

Rodney rolled onto his side and grabbed it out of Radek's hand. "Thanks."

Radek folded his arms and smiled. "How long are you going to work like that?"

"Like what?"Rodney replied absently, studying the datapad.

"On the floor."

Rodney craned his neck round to look up at Radek indignantly. "Until my _ass_ stops hurting from the _arrow_ that was stuck in it yesterday, thank you very much!"

Radek snickered. "It seems quite amusing, in _hind_sight."

Rodney was riled. "No! It was not amusing. It hurt like hell, and I can't sit down or lie on my back. Next time you go off world and get beaten or shot or stuck with an arrow, you see how you like it." He leaned on one arm and rubbed his neck. "Damn, this sucks."

Radek felt suitably chastised. "Sorry, Rodney. Really." He cleared his throat. So, I went to see Ronon earlier, he looked better."

Rodney nodded. "Makes my arrow look like nothing. He must be made of steel or something. I would have been plum butter."

"Dr Weir was there." Radek glanced at Rodney, and saw the reaction he had expected. "She told him to get well soon."

Rodney finally pushed himself up on his arms and shuffled onto his hands and knees, before getting up with greatly exaggerated difficulty. "She, uh, well, actually, I don't remember seeing her when _I_ was in the infirmary." He frowned.

Radek gave him a half smile, "Oh, she was there, a few times. She made sure Carson looked after your posterior."

"Excuse me!"

Radek grinned, "I think she appreciated it very much. You should ask her."

Rodney spluttered, "I shall do no such thing. You'd better keep your crude remarks to yourself. Elizabeth would be mortified!"

"I saw her looking..."

"Shut up."

**0o0o0**

"How is Rodney?"

"How should I know?"

"You're too busy to visit your Chief Scientist as he recovers?"

"The arrow was removed two days ago."

"I heard the morphine made him all ditzy."

"John! Leave him alone."

Smirk. "Did you see it?"

"The arrow?"

"No."

"Get out."

"You're blushing."

"Oh, you think? Go away."

"Admit it, Elizabeth. You think he's cute."

"Not listening!"

"He likes you, I can tell."

"La la la la la la la go away John leave me alone I'm busy get out."

**0o0o0**

"Teyla. Elizabeth."

Teyla nodded in acknowledgement as Rodney greeted her and Dr Weir. She watched as he smiled at each of them in turn. She smiled, seeing the difference.

Still unable to sit, Rodney stood beside Dr Weir for the meeting. He looked for all of Athos like it was his rightful place. The way he stood, with his hands behind his back, that look on his face, his body turned slightly so that Dr Weir was honoured. Teyla doubted he realised how his stance looked, or what it conveyed.

She frowned. She tried to recall... yes, Dr McKay had often stood like this in meetings, without any injury to his buttocks. She tried to recall if it was always related to his use of the display screen, but she could not.

Teyla watched Dr Weir look round at Rodney, her hands clasped delicately together. If they were Athosian, they would need to be betrothed to share a look like _that_ in public.

**0o0o0**

"He's driving me crazy!" John Sheppard threw himself horizontally onto the couch in the rec room.

Radek glanced up from his game of chess with Teyla. "Who?"

John's eyes widened, "Who do you think?"

"Rodney." Radek smiled.

Draping an arm across his eyes, John continued to rant. "He won't stop going on about his ass. It's been days, already. And I wish he would ask Elizabeth out. He needs someone more interested in his backside than me! I've had it up to here with godamn protective clothing requisitions from him."

Teyla and Radek shared a look, amused with John's assessment of their friend.

"I believe they would be happier if they were together," Radek stated.

"If they were Athosian, they would be obligated to be together," Teyla added.

"One of these days I'm just going to lock them in a closet until they make out!" John growled.

There were a few moments of silence as Radek and Teyla exchanged worried looks.

Teyla looked over at the Colonel. "I understood Dr McKay to be claustrophobic. That would not be appropriate."

"Hey, I was kidding." John muttered, and rolled over so he was facing them. "Just kidding, OK?"

Radek looked thoughtful. "Nevertheless, it was an interesting concept. Perhaps if they were forced to share time alone, it may allow them to admit their feelings for each other."

John frowned. "OK. Not a closet, then. Balcony?"

Teyla raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly.

Radek seemed to be thinking hard. "Yes, a balcony would be better. But not locked. That would be too unsettling for him. We would need to arrange a self-imposed stay on the balcony." His eyes were lighting up, so John knew that Radek had a plan. He smiled.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Elizabeth frowned as she saw Dr Zelenka and Lieutenant Cadman talking quietly together in the corridor. They seemed very close together, As she approached, she saw Zelenka smiling and nodding at the petite officer. She wished she could see Laura's face, perhaps hear what was going on. Radek spotted her, and panic flashed across his face as he touched Laura's arm. Elizabeth smiled courteously at him, fascinated by the interaction.

"Dr Zelenka. Lieutenant."

Zelenka nodded, and Laura's eyes were wide. "Dr Weir."

She passed them by and headed along towards the west tower, musing about what they were up to. Funny, she thought.

The corridors at this level accessed several sets of quarters, and weren't far from the infirmary, either. She reached the doors leading to the small balcony that overlooked one of the best views of Atlantis**_…_** or that was her opinion, anyway. Teyla had asked to meet her here. She had expressed a desire to talk privately with her about something. Perhaps it was to do with Ronon and his recent brush with his past. Perhaps it was something to do with John and his leadership style. In any case, she had agreed that this would be a perfect place. She walked out onto the small balcony that led from a rather pretty hexagonal atrium. She held the railing and breathed the salty air. A warm breeze tousled her hair, and she smoothed it down fruitlessly, just enjoying the break from her office.

After a few moments, the doors whooshed open and Rodney stepped through, giving her a puzzled look.

"Elizabeth?"

She smiled, amused, "Well, last time I checked."

He winced, her amusement doing little to placate his faux pas. "I was expecting Sheppard to be here, that's all. What are you doing here?" He joined her by the railing, peering out and scanning the horizon.

She shuffled along, giving him some space. There wasn't much more room on this balcony, certainly not enough for Teyla and John as well. "Just meeting someone."

She saw his look before he erased it, but she knew it had been there. "Just a friend. They want some advice... I think."

His shoulders hung in relief. "Oh. Yes, of course. The Colonel and I were going to go over the training schedules. His quarters are just along there, of course; he doesn't like to be stuck in an office, you know. Besides, I can't sit down anyway."

She nodded, smiling. Sometimes Rodney was very thoughtful. Still, it seemed odd. They stood side by side, watching the sun slip lower and lower.

Rodney looked around him, "It's not a big balcony, is it? When Sheppard gets here, we'll shuffle off."

"Thank you, Rodney. Actually, I'm surprised my friend isn't here already. I admit, I was a little late getting away from the security meeting. I should have come straight here, but I popped in to see Vargas – he broke his collarbone. That made me even later."

He nodded. "He's annoyed at being out of action. You can't crawl under consoles like that." Frowning, he turned around. "I don't know where Sheppard is. He said he'd be here. Maybe I'll..." he took two steps towards the door, but his arm, stretched out sideways to hit the door release, froze over the panel, "Oh no." He was looking in horror through the glass panel in the door.

"Rodney?"

"Em. I'll just hang on a bit longer. Maybe he got held up." He backed up to the railing.

Elizabeth frowned. She peered through the glass panel, and saw a petite Lieutenant with long hair pacing in the atrium, checking her watch.

"My. It's busy here this evening." Elizabeth held a hand to her mouth to cover the grin.

"Yes. Isn't it just," he growled.

"Are you still avoiding Laura?"

"I'm not avoiding her! I'd just prefer not to bump into her very often, that's all."

"Or ever."

"Yes, fine. Or ever, preferably."

"It's understandable. Having someone know your very thoughts must have been disturbing."

He sighed, "Like you wouldn't believe. Not to mention she saw me..."

"...without any clothes on, I understand." She wondered how it felt for him to know she could almost read his mind.

"I am so humiliated." He buried his face in his hands.

"Looked good to me..." she mumbled quietly.

"What was that?"

"I said, she'll probably be gone in a minute."

"Yeah. Probably." he leaned heavily over the rail, and took a deep breath. "Wow. I love this city."

Elizabeth began piecing things together. There was something fishy, and it wasn't in the ocean. She slipped closer to him and rested her arm against his. "Me too. You know, I don't think John is coming. Or my friend."

Rodney turned to her, his face really very close to hers, and he looked into sparkling green eyes. "What?"

She laughed. "Come on, Rodney. Sheppard sends you here, Teyla sends me here, I see Radek and Laura plotting in the hallways. I think we've been set up."

There was nothing but confusion on Rodney's face. "Radek? Teyla? Set up?"

"I don't need a parrot, Rodney."

He gaped.

"Or a fish." She reached out and shut his mouth with a gentle finger under his chin.

He stood up, pointing to the door. "She...? He...?"

"They're trying to keep us here for a while." She raised an eyebrow.

"What for?" he squeaked.

"Oh, I don't know." She took a step towards him, and continued with the voice that conveyed she knew exactly why. "Maybe they thought we needed some time alone."

"Unhn," was all he could manage.

"What do you think?"

"Um. What about?"

"Do we need some time alone?" she leaned closer, until their faces were inches apart.

He swallowed. "Maybe... yes... I think... that is... oh damn it." He leaned forward and kissed her. Just a quick, press of lips. "Oh wow." He beamed.

She took his hands. "Mmmm. Good idea of theirs, wasn't it?"

"Oh yeah. Can we stay here a bit longer?" He leaned in and took another kiss, still beaming.

"How long did you have in mind?" She gave him her teasing look that she had all but forgotten about, the one she used in the early days, before everything seemed to go wrong in the Pegasus galaxy. Then they had learned that life went on.

"As long as possible before the city starts to collapse without us." He couldn't resist another press of his lips on hers.

"Gee. That won't be long, especially in your case."

"You..! Come here." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her thoroughly and soundly. She made happy noises that made his heart sing.

Their noses pressed to the glass, John, Teyla and Radek gaped at the scene on the balcony, framed by the setting sun behind the couple.

"Woah," said John. "Now that belongs in a closet."

"Let me see!" piped Laura.

_**FIN**_

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**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading :D 


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